2013 Academy Awards

I've been made aware that my blogging as of late has been lacking. Apologies. To make up for it, I'm going to live blog tonight's Academy Awards. Enjoy!

12:07am - Ok, bedtime - thanks for playing everyone!

12:02am - Sorry Seth, I really wanted to like you as a host, but that was borderline disaster. No where near as bad as the Franco/Hathaway fiasco, but a disappointment none the less. And this song about the losers? Dreadful....

12:00am - Wait - they're going to ANOTHER commercial break before they end? IS ABC SERIOUS?!

11:59pm - Ben legit seems flustered. Good for him, but I thought The Town was better.

11:56pm - Argo wins Best Picture, Ben still gets his Oscar, Clooney gets a second. Poor Ang Lee, this is the second time in a row he's won Best Director but lost Best Picture. Bummer.

11:54pm - Oh boo. That totally wasn't live. Welp, here it is, comes down to this. WHAT IS SO FREAKING HARD ABOUT PRONOUNCING LES MISERABLES CORRECTLY?!

11:53pm - WHOA! This is a surprise...

11:48pm - DDL is the first actor to win 3 Oscars in the Lead Actor category. That's at least 5 standing ovations tonight - is that a record? And he's got that wry British humor - what's not to love about this man?!

11:47pm - Would LOVE to see Cooper pull an upset here, but this is Day-Lewis' to lose. He IS Abraham Lincoln.

11:45pm - Lawrence wins best actress, trips up the stairs on the way to collect her statue, gets a standing ovation, and Silver Linings Playbook goes home with at least one award. All is right with the world. 2 more...

11:41pm - Jean Dujardin doesn't seem as charming with that beard. This is a 3 way race between Chastain, Lawrence and Riva. I'm gonna give it to Lawrence. Silver Linings Playbook goes home empty-handed if she loses, which I don't see happening.

11:40pm - STOP CUTTING TO KRISTEN STEWART! Now I'm just getting angry.

11:37pm - THERE ARE THREE AWARDS LEFT. WE DO NOT NEED ANOTHER COMMERCIAL BREAK!

11:35pm - Nope. And Ang Lee gets a standing ovation to boot! Life of Pi was truly a spectacular film. Could this mean upset in Best Picture? Probably not...

11:34pm - Does Spielberg join the 3 Oscars club?

11:27pm - Quintin, we get it. You're anti-establishment. But you're at the Oscars. Fix your tie. Show some respect.

11:25pm - Another theme - Argo takes the top awards. For the record, Lincoln should have won this. Yeah, it was pretty talky, but the language was absolutely beautiful.

11:23pm - I'm sensing a theme tonight. Hey! Lets pair really tall women with men that are at least a foot shorter than them!

11:19pm - Six awards left, and they're all biggies; Original Screenplay (Amour), Adapted Screenplay (Argo), Actress (Lawrence), Actor (Day-Lewis), Director (Spielberg) and Picture (Argo). The only real lock is Actor, the rest could all go to Django, Lincoln, Riva, Lee and Lincoln respectively...

11:16pm - Bets that Adele gives the best speech of the night: even.

11:12pm - Original Song. Just give it to Adele. There's no competition. Seriously.

11:09pm - There they are! Side note: I'm a huge fan of Chicago, but really don't understand all the love it's getting tonight. Yes, it was the first musical to win Best Picture in 40 years, but I wouldn't call that groundbreaking. Presenting award for Score, should go to Life of Pi. 

11:07pm - Is this celeb diving show for real?!

11:03pm - Like two sticks of buttah, lashed together in a roughhewn manner!

11:01pm - There it is!

10:57pm - In Memoriam. Apparently there is a committee that sits around a table and goes through lists of everyone that passed away to decide which 40 or so names get recognized on the telecast. How's that for morbid? Thought for sure they'd trot out Babs to sing "The Way We Were" when Marvin Hamlish's name comes up.

10:52pm - KStew couldn't cover up her sex bruise? Classy gal right there...

10:49pm - Daniel Radcliffe was shaking as he presented Lincoln with its first award of the night, Production Design.

10:48pm - Why does Kristen Stewart have a career? She looks like she'd be extremely unpleasant to work with.

10:38pm - NAILS! Can we just give Adele the Oscar and call it a night?

10:33pm - Pretty much game over. Argo takes editing. So far, Lincoln is 0 for 7. 

10:32pm - Can someone please make sure whoever wrote the dialogue for the presenters never works again? Thanks, all of America

10:29pm - Editing is next. Whoever wins this (Argo, Lincoln, Silver Linings Playbook) will probably win Best Picture. If Argo wins, it's all over.

10:23pm - Apparently, there was a tie in 1994 for Best Live Action Short, but no one really cares about that. Can someone please give Anne the wrap it up signal?

10:21pm - Look out, here comes Anne. If anyone else wins, hell will indeed freeze over.

10:18pm - The last time there was a tie was in 1968, in the Best Actress category; Barbra Streisand for Funny Girl and Katherine Hepbrun for The Lion in Winter.

10:14pm - A tie?! Is that allowed?!

10:11pm - No shocker Les Misérables gets sound mixing, the live singing wasn't easy. In case you hadn't heart.

10:08pm -  Also, we were promised Renee Zellweger, Queen Latifah and Richard Gere - where were they?!

10:06pm - Ok, we get it that the producers want Les Misérables to win. Not. Gonna. Happen. Russell wasn't so terrible, was he? And I do believe he got some entrance applause. Aaron Tveit and Samantha Barks should have been cast as Marius and Cosette, although I don't think I could handle Amanda Seyfried as Eponine.

10:02pm - GET IT SAMANTHA BARKS!

10:00pm - Ok, wasn't expecting that standing ovation, good for you. Ok, brace yourselves, here comes Les Miserab-less. Will Russell Crowe send them running for the exits? Probably, but I think Amanda Seyfried was worse. For the record, "Suddenly" was put into the film solely so they could earn a Best Original Song nomination. And can we please just give Anne Hathaway her Oscar? Girlfriend's been campaigning for like, 6 months, she must be exhausted.

9:58pm - CZJ was pretty good, but Jennifer Hudson, your 15 minutes were up an hour ago. 

9:54pm - Les Miserab-less? Really Travolta? Go back to whatever hole you crawled out of to introduce this.

9:53pm - Here's the musical tribute. Better not disappoint.

9:52pm - REALLY?! The orchestra isn't even in the same building?! SERIOUSLY?!

9:51pm - Haven't seen Amour, but Hanke's last film, The White Ribbon was brutal.

9:49pm - Oh Seth. Had such high hopes for you, but this is going down hill fast. Assassination and Kardashian jokes? Really? And Jennifer Garner apparently has a hard time reading the teleprompter. Foreign Language film, Amour should take this...next...

9:32pm - Taking a break for a few. Shorts/documentary presentations. Need to go pack. Rejoin again soon.

9:27pm - First standing ovation of the evening comes less than an hour in. I still wish it was for Adele. Lame bond tribute. What are Pierce Brosnan, Sean Connery, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton and Dainel Craig all so busy doing that they couldn't come to the Oscars?

9:25pm - That's it?! That's the big reveal?! A Welsh singer to warble through a song from 1964?! #bringoutadele!

9:24pm - Not impressed with this Bond tribute. Unless the segue into Adele at the end.

9:20pm -   wins, but WTF with those pink leggings? "Nobody did her makeup!" says my dad.

9:19pm - Anna wins costume. Make-up/hair styling next. Should go to Les Misérables team. Have to work hard to make those stars look ugly

9:16pm - We're into these craft awards for a while. Next acting award isn't scheduled to be given out for about another hour. #yawn. Costume design - Anna Karenina should take this

9:15pm - So that playoff was rough. Dude's company is going under and Academy plays that? Cold blooded.

9:09pm - This presenter banter is atrocious. Meanwhile, Life of Pi is 2 for 2 tonight. Its got 11 nominations coming into tonight, second only to Lincoln.

9:07pm - ScarJo isn't there cause she's busy being all moody with Ben Walker on 46th street in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. And does this cinematographer moonlight as an extra on the set of The Hobbit

9:05pm - AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!

9:01pm - First Best Picture montage. Les Misérables, meh. Life of Pi, amazing. Beasts of the Southern Wild, overrated. And thought it was interesting when talking about Beasts, the camera shot to the cast of Silver Linings Playbook

9:00pm - Brave? Really? First (of probably many) disappointments this evening.

8:59pm - Animated Predix - Frankenweenie

8:58pm - Paperman! 1/2 tonight! If you haven't seen it yet, check it out. Saw it before Wreck-It Ralph and it was absolutely beautiful. Adam and Dog was pretty good too

8:57pm - Animated Short - Paperman

8:55pm - And we're back - but this Paul Rudd/Melissa McCarthy banter is pretty terrible...

8:50pm - Christoph Waltz! Two Oscars in 3 years. Good for him!

8:48pm - Supporting Actor. Prediction - Robert De Nero

8:47pm - HA! Loved that closing projection.

8:45pm - Closing in on the 15 minute mark...getting a little tedious. 

8:39pm - Ok, the thing with socks and Flight made me lol. The Theron/Tatum bit was pretty good, but the one with JGL and Harry Potter...not so much.

8:38pm - well, that was a little, ahem, flat...

8:34pm - FREE DON CHEADLE!

8:32pm - Aaaand there's the first Ben Affleck snub joke. It only took about 90 seconds.

8:31pm - RDJ can't clap?

8:30pm - IT'S STARTING! IT'S STARTING! I'VE WAITED 364 DAYS FOR THIS!

8:27pm - I think that Seth MacFarlane is going to kill this. So excited.

8:25pm - No Guts, No Glory predix - Argo loses Best Picture, Bradley Cooper wins Best Actor

8:22pm - Not going to lie. Excited for the Chicago performance with Renee Zellweger, CZJ, Queen Latifah and Richard Gere.

8:20pm - TEN MINUTES!

8:17pm - As much as I enjoyed DDL's performance in Lincoln, I thought Bradley Cooper was a revelation in Silver Linings Playbook. So good to see him play against the asshole type he normally plays.

8:14pm - That's it? That's what's in the mystery box? #underwhelmed. And Kelly Rowland better stick to her day job. "I have to axe y'all. What were y'all talkin about in the car on the way ovah hurr?". Still hate Jamie Foxx and the stupid tattoo on his head.

8:12pm - Holy side-boob, Anne. 

8:07pm - Paging audio tech....

8:05pm - Cannot handle Adele's speaking voice. Stick to singing. And that dress? The less said the better...

8:02pm - How does one get selected to be a presenter? Celeb status is mandatory, obvi, but other than that? Or how about an invite for that matter. I'm looking at you, Jennifer Aniston.

8:00pm - THIRTY MINUTES PEOPLE! THIRTY. MINUTES.

7:57pm - Does anyone watch Once Upon a Time? That promo made me interested. Also, Kristin is the godmother of Royal Caribbean's new ship? IS THERE ANYTHING THIS WOMAN CAN'T DO?!

7:55pm - I want to hang out with George Clooney, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck...basically the entire cast of Ocean's 11.

7:53pm - Uncle Jesse puts in an appearance!

7:50pm - Seriously. Loving Kristin Chenowith as a co-host. BUT GIVE UP THIS STUPID MYSTERY BOX THING! 

7:42pm - Where was this college program when I was at UMass?!

7:38pm - A+ to ABC for getting Kristin Chenowith for the pre-show. Her interview with Bradley Cooper is excellent. F for the #oscarmystery thing though.

7:33pm - Like the retrospect google put together, except it was scenes from the same 10-12 movies.

7:25pm - I lied. Charlize Theron/Ryan Seacrest is amazing. He's a munchkin!

7:21pm - Oh Anne Hathaway...this is your big night and you chose that? Also, props to Liev Schreiber for netting Naomi Watts. He's been making the rounds at all the parities this season, and goes from C lister to A lister by association.

7:16pm - This shot of Kristin Chenowith and Jennifer Lawrence is amazing. A midget and a giant. "Ohmigod you like 'Dance Moms'? IS THE POPE CATHOLIC?!"

7:13pm - Yup, still over  Quvenzhané Wallis. And she's been cast as Willow Smith's replacement in Jay-Z's updated Annie. Yawn.

7:06pm - (switched over to ABC. There's only so much Ryan Seacrest can stomach). Kelly Rowland is one of the co-hosts? Why? Yes, Destiny's Child had a minor reunion at the Superbowl, but one reunion performance does not a relevant celebrity make. Glad that Robin Roberts is there though, such a great story.

7:02pm - Sorry, took a quick dinner break. Quick catch up: Amanda Seyfried sucks, she was atrocious as Cosette, and was a bitch during her interview. Stick to being Karen Smith. Cute that Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Sally Field are dates for the evening (his meeting Dustin Hoffman was priceless). Jennifer Lawrence looks great, but stop pulling at your top. And whenever the guy from E! who is commenting with Kelly Osborune speaks I want to gauge my eyes out.

6:34pm - Channing Tatum, why are you here? Oh, you're presenting, I guess that's ok. And Reese Witherspoon, could you make Legally Blonde 3 happen? Totally over the girl from Beasts of the Southern Wild and her puppy purses. Thought it was one of the most overrated films/performances of the year.

6:27pm - Samantha Barks cleans up nicely. Eponine who?

6:21pm - (E!'s pre-show coverage) Jessica Chastain, whoa! Ryan Seacrest, did you comb your hair that way so that you feel taller? So many live tweeters/blogs to follow, not sure if I'll be able to keep up.